Mick Hunt is the CEO of Mick Unplugged.
It’s a trap that all leaders can easily fall into. We get so obsessed with KPIs and tactics that we lose sight of what truly builds connection in our businesses: emotion. Leaders lead by example. If you can’t feel your team, you can’t lead them. If you can’t regulate your own emotions, you can’t expect others to trust and follow you.
Emotional intelligence is often still treated as a soft skill in the workplace, but that diminishes its value. It’s not soft to be emotional; it’s human. And we need more leaders who allow themselves, and others, to be human at work. Emotionally intelligent leadership enables a culture of connection—and a connected team is more engaged, dedicated and productive.
Research shows that psychological safety, which creates an environment where people feel safe to share their ideas, admit mistakes, suggest improvements and be vulnerable, “substantially contributes to team effectiveness, learning, employee retention, and—most critically—better decisions and better performance.” Psychological safety also improves feelings of inclusion. According to BCG data, “when psychological safety is high, only 3% of employees are at risk of quitting.”
Unfortunately, many employees are feeling detached from and discontented with their work. In a 2024 Gallup survey, only 18% said they were “extremely satisfied” with their job, and 51% said they were “watching for or actively seeking a new job.” Connection matters to employees, yet it’s lacking in a lot of workplaces. A 2023 Hubspot report found that while “52% of respondents would prioritize great relationships with their colleagues over a 10% salary increase,” 66% don’t feel strongly connected to their co-workers.
Change starts at the top. The small decisions we make every day as leaders shape the culture and direction of our organizations.
The Four Emotional Must-Haves Of Modern Leaders
1. Presence
Every good or great leader I’ve met has had presence. The saying “be where your feet are” rings true. Start with being physically present, and then being emotionally present follows naturally. You don’t need an open-door policy when you’re already where your people are. Employees don’t feel like they need to walk into your office if you’re making the rounds and letting them know you’re available.
2. Empathy
Empathy is a core component of emotionally intelligent leadership. When you understand what drives your employees emotionally—how they think and feel and experience the world—you open the door to both greater connection and performance.
3. Courage
Courage is one of the four pillars of my leadership framework. As an emotionally adept leader, you have the courage to tell the truth when it would be easier to stay silent. You are able to have tough conversations with your team when necessary—talking about the real message instead of hiding behind data and metrics.
4. Restraint
Any leader can speak their mind, but a great leader learns to pause before reacting. The simple act of taking a breath and choosing your words wisely is a powerful form of leadership. We’re often taught to follow our instincts, but we also need restraint to make better decisions.
Five Strategies For Building Emotional Intelligence
1. Follow The Three-Second Rule
Before you speak or act, pause for three seconds and ask yourself, “Am I responding from purpose or from protection?” Practice a moment of restraint, and gather your thoughts. Answering this one question will help you understand what you are really feeling and, in turn, connect with other people in a more productive way.
2. Do A Weekly Emotional Audit
Every Friday, answer three questions in writing:
• What emotions led me this week?
• Where did I ignore someone else’s emotional signal?
• What one moment required more emotional maturity than I gave it?
I’ve done this weekly audit every Friday for the last two years, and it has been a game changer. No matter what our age, we are always learning and developing our emotional maturity. We won’t always get it right in the moment, and this simple reflection helps clarify lessons and measure progress.
3. Call The Room, Not Just The Shot
Before jumping straight into starting a project or rolling out an initiative, read the room first. Get a sense of your team’s energy and emotions. Are they feeling tense, nervous, excited, optimistic? When you’re in a remote meeting, make sure everyone has their video on. Pay attention to their body language as well as their words, and let those cues direct your response.
4. Connect, Then Correct
Before giving feedback, do a quick check-in with yourself. Ask: “Am I trying to correct them … or connect with them?” Sometimes, when you think you need to take corrective action with a team member, you’re really just feeling disconnected from each other. Take the time to explore your role in bridging this gap. Have you had enough conversations to get on the same page? Are you missing something important? What’s at the heart of the problem?
5. Name The Unnamed
In times of stress, change or uncertainty, learn to talk about the elephant in the room. If you notice that something is off, bring it up directly. For example: “I know morale feels low right now—but I want to acknowledge it, not ignore it. And I want us to talk about why.”
Sometimes, just recognizing that there is an issue to address can draw emotions out and put people at ease. My friends call me “The Inconvenient Truth” because I have a tendency to discuss the tough but important topics. Open communication can be uncomfortable in the moment, but it always leads to positive developments in the long run.
I once coached a CEO of a Fortune 500 company who believed emotion had no place in leadership—until he lost his top three leaders in six months. Then he started to look beyond KPIs to understand the impact of emotional connection on his team and completely turned around the company culture. The company soon celebrated a major milestone: going 90 days without losing an employee.
Another leader had the mindset that he always needed to have the answer to every question—which became a roadblock to communication and connection. When he realized that it was okay not to know everything, he learned to be more present with his team so they could find answers together.
We think leadership is about providing direction—but real leadership starts with understanding and prioritizing the emotional direction of the team.
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