Dr. David Lenihan, Ph.D., J.D., FRSM is the CEO/Cofounder of Tiber Health and the CEO of Ponce Health Sciences University.
There’s a funny line (one of many) in Slacker, the 1990 movie by writer/director Richard Linklater. A woman in a couple wants to play Frisbee, but her boyfriend isn’t interested: He hates the idea of what he calls “premeditated fun,” and Frisbee is the worst offender.
Premeditated fun, which I’ll refer to here as PMF, is frequently offered by many companies. Holiday parties, team-building ventures, company retreats, after-work social gatherings—it’s all done to inspire informal opportunities for collaboration and increased personal connections between co-workers.
But according to Callum Borchers in his Wall Street Journal story “You’re Good at Your Job, but Are You ‘Fun’ Enough?,” not everybody is comfortable with the whole PMF thing. In fact, some people, including top execs, would prefer not to participate at all in PMF activities.
As a CEO who’s regarded as an extrovert (although frequently I’d prefer to hang at home and watch TV or compete in online racing), there are times when PMF and I don’t gel. For other C-suite execs who can relate, here are some recommendations on how to successfully navigate your organization’s premeditated fun initiatives:
1. Schedule a PME (premeditated exit).
If it would be best politically for you to appear at a PMF event, here’s a digestible way to do it: Set a timer on your phone as a reminder that it’s time to go. You can explain your departure as an appointment that can’t be avoided.
When making initial small talk with co-workers, you can even give them a subtle heads up that you’ll hit the road at [fill-in-the-blank o’clock] because you have to [insert exit excuse here]. This will allow your eventual exodus to be understandable and, preferably, not even noticed.
2. Don’t have that third scotch.
Many of us who are PMF-averse tend to relax a bit after having a drink. But once your tension has eased a bit during and after libation numero uno, don’t make the mistake of continuing to enjoy a few more because you’re feeling chilled out: Stop before you’ve had drink number three (or even after the first one). I’ve found that unrestrained imbibing at the open bar never ends well for us anti-PMFers. Instead, savor that initial bevvy and stick to your preconfigured exit strategy.
My drink of choice instead of that second or third scotch? A tall, frosty Diet Coke. And if I’m feeling fancy, I’ll ask for it with a twist of lemon. Hey, it’s a lively event, so why not go a little nuts?
3. Don’t ‘spill the tea.’
In an attempt to hang loose with the gang at a PMF, you may be exposed to gossipy whispers about the foibles, secrets or annoying idiosyncrasies of fellow execs or co-workers. If such giggly tea spilling commences, don’t laugh or react. Most importantly, don’t jump in—to do so is extremely bad form that will be remembered by those in attendance and could come back to bite you.
Instead, peel off when the catty chit-chat gets rolling by claiming a need for a bathroom break—and then find a different (and safer) conversation elsewhere to join.
For many C-suiters and employees, work-related PMFs offer enjoyable and exciting ways to mingle, smile and build teams. They’re popular, they come in endless varieties and they’re here to stay.
But for those of us CEOs who are more on the reserved side of the aisle, PMFs can be tough to endure—however, they’re significantly more endurable if you give my easy-to-implement tips a spin.
Forbes Business Council is the foremost growth and networking organization for business owners and leaders. Do I qualify?
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