Aslak de Silva, CEO of Selfly Store, works with customers in 20+ countries generating revenue with data and intelligent vending machines.
Growing up, I spent a lot of time picking bilberries in the forest with my family. The arrangement was clear: Pour your berries into the bucket, and you’d get paid. But I always made the same mistake.
Whenever I got hungry, I ate the berries I picked before they made it into the bucket. Many others were smarter. They filled their buckets first, got paid and then ate the berries from the bucket afterward. I lost money every single time.
Years later, I realized that even if I lost money, I gained something more valuable: integrity. The reason I ate the berries before putting them into the bucket was simple. It felt wrong to get paid first and then eat the same berries. I believed in something deeper, which was a sense of fairness and honesty. Not everything is about money.
The Dinner Table Test
Fast forward several years. I found myself sitting at a grand dinner table in Amsterdam, facing the management team of a multinational corporation. It was the final night of a 4-day job interview for a coveted management trainee program.
Eight of us had made it this far. We represented different parts of Europe, handpicked from thousands of applicants who had already undergone countless interviews and tests.
By all accounts, I was performing exceptionally well. My test scores were at the top of the class, my presentations were spot on and my analytical skills impressed the evaluators. But there was one area where I fell short, which was negotiations. The feedback was harsh but honest: I was too weak.
I argued my points well and backed them with solid reasoning, but I struggled to close deals when the “opponent” simply refused to budge. It didn’t matter if my arguments were stronger or if I managed to explain my reasoning with confidence and with versatile points of view. The only thing that mattered was sealing the deal by any means necessary.
But that wasn’t the real reason I didn’t make the cut. The final dinner was not just a formality; it was another test. And when the conversation turned to leadership and business philosophy, I shared my views honestly. I told them I believed in Karma.
To me, Karma was not just about treating people well and expecting them to return the favor. It was a broader belief that good things circulate. That doing the right thing, acting with integrity and respecting others would eventually lead to good things happening, even if not directly related to a specific deal or person.
The idea was simple: If you operate with integrity and treat people well, the world somehow responds positively. Even if you lose one deal today, opportunities will arise in the future.
Principles Under Pressure
Their reaction was swift and brutal. “Business is now, not in relationships in the future,” one of them said. They believed that if you bend today, you will bend tomorrow, and the party you negotiate with will never return the favor.
What worried them the most was not just my negotiation style but my entire worldview. They didn’t like that I believed good things would circle around. They saw my mindset as unrealistic and even dangerous.
“If you lose a deal today, it’s a lost deal. There is no magical compensation coming from somewhere else. You need to fight for every win.”
They then asked me a question that caught me off guard: “Can you change your perspective? Now that we’ve explained the flaw in your thinking, do you see it?”
I didn’t. And I tried to explain that one is never truly weak for holding onto principles. I argued that building genuine relationships and acting with integrity was not about bending or yielding; it was more about choosing the harder, longer path of building something that lasts.
I told them that just because you lose a deal today doesn’t mean you’ve lost the battle. Sometimes, refusing to compromise your values is the strongest stance you can take. And sometimes, the real win isn’t about what you gain but about who you choose to remain in the process.
Their eyes told me everything I needed to know. I wasn’t what they were looking for. The decision was made. I believe none of us were chosen for the program, but I was told directly that my perspective on life and business was one of the key reasons why I didn’t make the cut.
I left that dinner feeling strangely at peace. Because even though I hadn’t made it, I had stayed true to myself. I had expressed my beliefs honestly without trying to fit into someone else’s definition of success.
Years later, I realized how much that experience shaped me. It was one of the first moments I truly understood the price of integrity.
Leading Without Compromise
Today, as a CEO, I always try to lead with the same principles that were once labeled a weakness. I believe in empowering teams, building long-term relationships and making decisions that are not just profitable but principled.
I have built my leadership philosophy on the very foundation that once made me “unsuitable” for a big corporate position. I didn’t bend then, and I won’t bend now. So, I urge you to refuse to bend your values just to secure a win. The pressure to conform or compromise is real, but staying true to your principles creates a foundation for lasting trust and meaningful success.
Some opportunities may be lost along the way—but I believe what you gain is far more enduring. Not everything is about money.
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