Tricia Brouk is an Award winning director, author, producer and Founder of The Big Talk Academy. She puts speakers onto big stages.
Whether you’re a business leader, thought leader or public figure, as an influential voice, it’s not a question of if you’ll face difficult conversations—it’s when. Being prepared to handle these situations effectively can transform potential conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper connections.
Having written a book all about how to use your voice for good, I often think about how our words impact others. As a director of film, television and theater, my work with thought leaders and speakers has allowed me to teach the skills of communication through my lens of expertise, in service not only of being on stage and speaking to an audience but also when you’re across the table from someone and need to communicate effectively when it’s not easy.
This experience has shown me that with a few best practices, leaders can navigate conflict with grace, compassion and purpose in any professional setting.
The Receiving End: Handling Criticism Or Conflict
Don’t take it personally.
When faced with criticism or conflict, your first instinct might be to take it personally. However, it’s crucial to remember that as a business leader, you have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes in the other person’s life. The words or actions of a colleague, employee, etc., might be influenced by factors completely unrelated to you.
By not taking criticism personally, you free yourself from unnecessary emotional attachment and can approach the situation more objectively. It’s important to remain efficient as leaders and not waste time thinking about our personal feelings about someone’s feedback. When you take the feedback and detach from any kind of perceived personal attack, you can hear it, determine how to implement it and move on.
Get curious.
Instead of reacting immediately, pause and get curious. Ask yourself: How does this make me feel? Why am I allowing myself to be activated by this? This self-reflection can provide valuable insights into your own triggers and reactions. Then, extend that curiosity to the other person. Ask yourself what might be happening in their life that led to this interaction. This shift in perspective can open the door to understanding and empathy.
Respond with compassion.
Once you’ve taken a moment to reflect and get curious, respond with compassion. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything said, but it does mean approaching the conversation with respect. An appropriate response might be as simple as saying, “Thank you for sharing your perspective. I’d like to understand more about why you feel this way.”
This approach can create a common ground of understanding and lead to greater intimacy in personal and professional relationships. In the workplace, language using compassion and love may also be simply, “I hear you, and I appreciate you taking the time to share. I value your input and will spend time considering it.”
When You’re The Source Of Conflict
Acknowledge the impact.
If you find yourself in a situation where your words or actions hurt or upset, whether a colleague, peer or employee, the first step is acknowledging the impact. Recognize that regardless of your intentions, your actions have consequences. This acknowledgment is crucial in showing the other person you see and hear them.
As a leader, you always impact your team. And when we as leaders make mistakes, taking responsibility for our actions is the first step. In a team meeting, for example, sharing an apology openly, honestly and freely, along with how the actions impacted everyone involved. Then, move into solution. By doing this, you can maintain the trust and allegiance of your teams and colleagues. It also shows them that you are in this together, and no one is perfect.
Stay curious and open.
Instead of becoming defensive, stay curious about how your actions were received. Ask how you could have handled the situation better. This openness to feedback helps you grow and shows the other person you value their experience and perspective.
Express gratitude.
Thank the person for having the courage to bring this to your attention. It takes bravery to confront someone, especially a leader or influential voice. Expressing gratitude reinforces the importance of open communication and building trust.
Handling Unresolved Conflicts
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, conflicts remain unresolved. Someone might distance themselves without explanation. In these cases, it’s important to respect their choice. Remember, it’s not about you—it’s about what they need. Honor their decision and trust that they know what’s best for themselves.
The Power Of Conflict
Counterintuitive as it may seem, conflict can actually create intimacy when handled well. It provides an opportunity to show respect, compassion and understanding, even in challenging circumstances. These moments of vulnerability and honest communication can strengthen relationships and elevate the collective vibration of an organization.
As an influential voice, your ability to navigate hard conversations with grace and empathy sets an example for others. It demonstrates emotional intelligence, resilience and a commitment to growth—all qualities that enhance your influence and impact.
By mastering the art of difficult conversations, you’re not just avoiding conflict; you’re creating opportunities for deeper connections, personal growth and positive change in your sphere of influence. This is how true leaders leave a lasting legacy.
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