By Levi King
Once upon a time, I was at a big conference with several members of my executive team at the time. The conference was just wrapping up when I spotted one of them—I’ll call him Maurice—standing in a corner chatting with a fellow from a different company.
I’d worked with Maurice for years at this point. We didn’t have a lot in common in terms of where we grew up, what schools we attended, and many other things that make up for one’s basic life experience, but I trusted him as a colleague and thought of him as a friend.
Just as I neared Maurice and the guy he was chatting with, I heard the latter say something that stopped me in my tracks: “I’m sorry you have to work with that schmuck Levi. It sounds like it’s been a terrible experience and I hope you can continue to make up for his bungling and keep things running smoothly over there.”
This is how I discovered that a trusted colleague and friend had been tearing me down behind my back for reasons which didn’t come to light until later, but which basically boiled down to outsized ego and ambition.
It won’t come as a big surprise to anyone who’s ever worked in corporate America to realize that many folks outside of our world perceive many folk in it as big-headed braggadocious monsters. The competition is intense and the rewards high. But Maurice, I think, represents something more than simply white collar Darwinism.
Narcissism and big egos are often conflated in discussions about problematic workplace behavior, but they represent distinct psychological phenomena with important differences in how they manifest and impact organizations. While both can create challenges in professional settings, understanding the nuances between narcissism and big egos is crucial for effectively managing workplace dynamics and fostering a healthy organizational culture.
Narcissism in the Workplace
Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In the workplace, narcissistic individuals often display an overwhelming sense of superiority and entitlement. They crave attention and validation, constantly seeking praise and recognition for their achievements, even at the expense of others.
Narcissists in professional settings tend to exhibit several key behaviors:
- Exploitation of others. They may take credit for colleagues’ work, use others as stepping stones for personal gain, or take advantage of others’ skills without proper acknowledgment.
- Lack of empathy. Narcissists struggle to empathize with coworkers’ feelings and needs, focusing solely on their own agenda and desires.
- Manipulative behavior. They often engage in tactics like gaslighting or spreading rumors to serve their interests and maintain their perceived superiority.
- Resistance to feedback. Narcissists typically view constructive criticism as a personal attack, becoming defensive or hostile when their competence is questioned.
The impact of narcissism on workplace dynamics can be severe. It often leads to decreased morale among colleagues, dysfunctional communication, and a breakdown in teamwork. Narcissistic leaders, in particular, can create toxic work environments by prioritizing their personal goals over the team’s success and stifling creativity and innovation by dismissing others’ ideas.
Big Egos in the Workplace
While related to narcissism, a big ego in the workplace is a distinct concept. Individuals with big egos display excessive pride in their abilities and accomplishments, often leading to arrogance and overconfidence. Unlike narcissism, which is rooted in deep-seated insecurity, a big ego stems from an inflated sense of self-worth that may or may not be justified by actual achievements.
Key characteristics of individuals with big egos in the workplace include:
- Domineering behavior. They tend to dominate conversations, assert their opinions forcefully, and may dismiss others’ contributions.
- Difficulty admitting mistakes. Those with big egos often struggle to acknowledge their errors or shortcomings, preferring to shift blame or make excuses.
- Resistance to change. They may be inflexible and resistant to new ideas or methods that challenge their established ways of thinking or working.
- Overestimation of abilities. Individuals with big egos frequently overestimate their skills and contributions, leading to unrealistic expectations and potential conflicts.
While big egos can drive individuals to achieve great things, they can also create friction within teams and hinder collaborative efforts. The impact on workplace dynamics, while potentially disruptive, is often less severe and pervasive than that of narcissism.
Key Differences Between Narcissism and Big Egos
The primary distinctions between narcissism and big egos in the workplace lie in their underlying motivations and the extent of their impact:
Empathy
Narcissists fundamentally lack empathy, whereas individuals with big egos may still possess the capacity for empathy, even if it’s overshadowed by their inflated self-image.
Need for admiration
Narcissists have an insatiable need for admiration and validation from others, while those with big egos may be more self-contained in their sense of superiority.
Manipulation
Narcissists are more likely to engage in calculated manipulation and exploitation of others, whereas big egos might unintentionally alienate colleagues through their arrogance.
Reaction to criticism
Narcissists react to criticism with intense defensiveness or rage, viewing it as a threat to their self-image. Those with big egos may be dismissive of criticism but are less likely to react with hostility.
Impact on organizational culture
Narcissistic leaders can fundamentally alter an organization’s culture, creating lasting damage even after their departure. Big egos, while problematic, typically have a more localized impact on immediate team dynamics.
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Managing Narcissism and Big Egos
Addressing narcissism and big egos in the workplace requires different approaches.
For narcissism:
- Implement strong policies governing ethical behavior and conflicts of interest.
- Establish clear expectations for collaboration and respect.
- Provide regular, constructive feedback to help narcissistic individuals develop self-awareness.
- Create a culture that values and rewards teamwork over individual accomplishments.
For big egos:
- Encourage self-reflection and introspection to help individuals recognize their strengths and areas for improvement.
- Promote open communication and constructive dialogue to address issues before they escalate.
- Offer training in emotional intelligence and effective communication to enhance interpersonal skills.
- Set clear performance metrics that objectively measure contributions and achievements.
Create a Balanced Workplace Culture
While both narcissism and big egos can create challenges in the workplace, understanding their distinct characteristics is crucial for effective management. Narcissism represents a more pervasive and potentially damaging force, capable of undermining organizational culture and team dynamics at a fundamental level. Big egos, while problematic, are often more manageable and may even drive positive outcomes when properly channeled.
By recognizing these differences, leaders and HR professionals can develop targeted strategies to mitigate the negative impacts of both narcissism and big egos, fostering a more collaborative, innovative, and psychologically safe work environment. Ultimately, the goal is to create a balanced workplace culture that harnesses the drive and ambition often associated with strong personalities while ensuring that these traits don’t come at the expense of teamwork, empathy, and overall organizational health.
Being blindsided at a work conference certainly wasn’t fun, but the real consequences of Maurice’s narcissism ultimately proved to be much more serious. The more you learn to tell the difference between good old-fashioned ego and something more sinister, the less likely it is you’ll waste months—even years—working alongside people who are pulling things down just as quickly as you are building them up.
Levi King is CEO, co-founder, and chairman of Nav.com. A lifelong entrepreneur and small business advocate, Levi has dedicated over ten years of his professional career to increasing business credit transparency for small businesses. After starting and selling several successful companies, he founded Nav both to help small business owners build their credit health and to provide them with powerful tools to make their financing dreams a reality.
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