Natalie Boehm is the Founder and President of The Defeating Epilepsy Foundation.
As humans, our emotions can get the best of us. Stress, personal problems, financial difficulties and toxicity at work are just a few examples that can test us. Some people hold their stress in, while others may have outbursts. Whether it is a personal problem or a professional one, we need to have control over our emotions to achieve success.
Emotional intelligence is defined as “the ability to perceive, understand, and manage one’s emotions and relationships.” For some, this comes easily, while for others, this can be a great challenge. There are five key elements when it comes to emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills.
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize one’s emotions and to be able to describe the emotions you are experiencing. For many, self-awareness can be very challenging. We may be trying to hide that we are sad or angry on the job. It is important to recognize if your nonverbal behaviors are not lining up with what you are saying. If you’re struggling to assess, try asking a manager or trusted colleague for feedback.
Self-Regulation
Self-regulation refers to a person’s ability to manage their emotions and impulses. The biggest challenge with self-regulation is that we learn certain behaviors from the beginning of our lives. For some people, if they have experienced something negative or traumatic, they may have triggers in certain environments. It is important that if you do have triggers, you develop coping skills to reduce the chances of being triggered. Being triggered on the job can increase your chance of not getting promoted or being let go from a position.
For many, having an emotional journal can help with self-regulation. It’s a great tool for recording details of times when they experienced negative emotions so they can more easily identify patterns and alternative approaches for the future.
Motivation
Motivation is an important part of emotional intelligence because it pushes people to set goals. For many of us, we can be perfectionists and that can result in giving up on a goal. Thus, it is important to set reasonable goals to motivate ourselves. It is also important to reward ourselves when we achieve a goal, even if it’s a small goal.
If you have a big goal, I recommend breaking it up into smaller goals and setting dates to achieve those goals. This way, you decrease the chances of feeling overwhelmed and giving up. It is important to have a good mindset when you are working to better yourself.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, and individuals with higher levels of emotional intelligence often demonstrate higher levels of empathy. Still, trying to relate to someone, especially if they are going through hard times, can be challenging. When co-workers or employees are dealing with a situation such as a sick loved one or a divorce, the attitude many professionals have is that people should leave their emotions at home and separate from their work life. The result can be poor mental health. Offering support can help those individuals continue to function and remain focused despite their challenges.
For example, my husband recently lost his father. His employer sent flowers and reassured my husband that they would make it possible for him to take the necessary time off to travel to the funeral. Simple acts of compassion mean a lot—and stick with employees for a long time.
Social Skills
Social skills are how you perceive emotions, how you act with others and how you communicate. This is an important skill, especially as an entrepreneur or executive. To be successful at networking and collaboration, one must be able to go up to others and interact positively. Having good social skills can create opportunities to gain experience and succeed.
That said, improving social skills can be very challenging for some business professionals. Many people would prefer to be in their office or at a coffee shop working to meet their deadlines, but as you work your way up in a company, you need to be able to get out there, represent yourself and the company you work for and establish a credible personal brand.
If you find networking events overwhelming, start by simply having a goal of getting a few business cards each time you go to an event. This can help you create a network of your own and, in time, feel more confident when you enter a room full of professionals. Investing in books on personal branding and career growth can also help.
It is important as professionals to invest in ourselves. Focusing on our overall wellness is essential to achieving our goals, and part of that is taking the time to understand what emotional intelligence is, why it’s important and how you can improve.
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