Dr. Grace Lee, CEO of Mastery Insights, is an executive coach, speaker & former neuroscientist.
I’ve worked with countless leaders navigating the tricky waters of transitioning from peer to manager. It’s a situation I understand deeply because I’ve seen how even the most accomplished professionals can struggle with this shift. One day, you’re brainstorming ideas as equals; the next, you’re responsible for guiding those same colleagues toward success.
If you’re feeling the weight of this transition, know that you’re not alone. Many of my clients describe it as awkward or even uncomfortable. They share concerns like, “Why me and not them?” or “Will they still respect me?” These are natural feelings, but they don’t have to define your experience.
Over the years, I’ve developed a framework to help leaders like you turn these challenges into opportunities for growth. Using these five principles below, I’ll show you how to build trust and respect while fostering productive relationships with your former peers.
Advancement brings a new priority of service.
When you step into a leadership role, your focus must shift. Leadership isn’t about your own projects anymore; rather, it’s about helping others succeed.
This starts with establishing what I call “fair exchange.” You need to understand what drives each team member individually and align their work with their personal goals. At the same time, you must balance this with your priorities and the company’s vision. I go deeper into this concept and more in my video on inspiring your team to do their best work.
For example, I once coached a marketing director who struggled to engage her team after her promotion. Through regular one-on-one meetings, she learned about her team members’ career aspirations and began assigning projects that aligned with their growth goals.
The result? Resistance turned into engagement, and productivity soared because people felt personally invested in their work.
Another critical step at this stage is formalizing your transition. Be clear about your new role and responsibilities, and communicate your vision for the team. This reduces ambiguity and sets the stage for collaboration.
Behaviors are a reflection of perceived trust and certainty.
Your former peers are watching you closely. What you say and do as a leader will be amplified in their minds. Building trust starts with being transparent and predictable in how you communicate, make decisions and give feedback.
I often remind my clients that trust looks different to everyone. For some team members, it might mean providing strategic opportunities; for others, it’s about consistency in decision-making. The key is understanding what matters most to each person on your team.
One strategy I recommend is establishing regular communication cadences, such as weekly check-ins or project updates, to create stability and certainty within your team.
Paul J. Zak notes in the Harvard Business Review (paywall) that his research shows high-trust companies experience less stress, higher productivity and greater happiness among employees.
Your team doesn’t expect perfection; they just want to know where they stand with you.
Challenges are opportunities to stay grounded.
Leadership comes with its fair share of conflicts and tough conversations. Instead of avoiding these moments, embrace them as opportunities to demonstrate your authentic leadership style.
The real challenge is staying grounded in truth rather than seeking approval or popularity. When you lead with “nothing to prove, nothing to hide and nothing to protect,” as I often say to my clients, you free yourself to make decisions based on what’s right, not just what’s easy or popular.
I’ve seen firsthand how teams respect leaders who handle challenges with integrity over those who avoid difficult conversations out of fear of losing favor.
Deception creates distrust and disempowerment.
The most dangerous form of deception in leadership isn’t lying to others; it’s lying to yourself by clinging to outdated beliefs or assumptions about leadership.
What made you successful as an individual contributor may not serve you well as a leader. Transitioning requires ongoing self-reflection and a willingness to challenge your assumptions.
For instance, are you still operating from an individual contributor mindset? Are your decisions influenced by old relationships rather than current realities? These are questions I encourage my clients to ask themselves regularly.
By staying vigilant against self-deception, you can create an environment of authenticity and growth. These are qualities that will empower both yourself and your team.
Empowered team members can improve results.
Your team members are your most valuable assets—and empowering them is one of the most effective ways to drive results.
Disempowered employees often require constant oversight and external motivators like rewards or consequences just to perform their duties. In contrast, empowered employees take ownership of their work because they feel intrinsically motivated by alignment with the team’s vision.
To empower your team, start by understanding what motivates each person individually. Then create opportunities that align with their values and career aspirations.
As I often tell my clients: Shift from being a taskmaster to a facilitator.
Conclusion
Transitioning from peer to leader is one of the most delicate shifts in any professional journey. But it’s also one of the most rewarding when done right.
The most effective leaders I’ve coached share one common trait: They view leadership not as a position of power but as an opportunity to serve others genuinely. When your former peers sense this commitment to their success, initial resistance is likely to transform into respect and engagement.
Remember: Earning respect isn’t about being liked. It’s about being trusted. And trust is built through consistent demonstration of these principles in your daily interactions.
With the right mindset and strategies in place, this transition can be an incredible opportunity for growth—for both you and your team.
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