You’re lying by the pool, watching your kids splash around. But your eyes keep drifting to your phone. The email notification pings. Your team needs you. Just this one thing. You promised yourself this vacation would be different, but here you are, scrolling through Slack messages while paradise passes you by and your kids hit new milestones and grow up into adults.
Most Americans get just 11 to 12 paid vacation days per year. The lowest among all developed countries. And they don’t even take them. More than half of American workers leave vacation days on the table, creating 768 million unused days annually. Deprived of vacations at record levels, yet still working through the few breaks we get.
I ran a social media agency for ten years and it took me three years to systemize my business and do travel right. I thought being available made me essential. It just made me exhausted. When I finally learned to disconnect, my business actually grew faster. My team got stronger. My clients respected me more.
The cost is high. Your brain needs complete disconnection to reset. Your creativity dies when you’re always half-working. Your decision-making gets cloudy. You return more tired than when you left. Break this cycle by understanding why you grip that phone so tight. Overcome the addiction and hang out with your family.
Stop the vacation email trap before it starts
Realize that your ego is the enemy
No one needs you right now. And even if they do, your business won’t collapse in seven days. Your clients won’t fire you. Your team won’t mutiny. The emergency emails aren’t emergencies. They’re just other people’s poor planning becoming your problem.
Get over yourself. The world spins without you. When you respond to every ping and notification, you train everyone around you to expect instant answers. You become the bottleneck in your own business. Set an autoresponder that means something. Not “I’m away but checking emails occasionally.” Make it clear: “I’m offline until [date]. For urgent matters, contact [team member]. I’ll respond when I’m back.” Then stick to it.
Create boundaries that stick
Your team wants you on call because it’s easier than thinking. But when you’re always available, they never learn to solve problems independently. They’d rather get your quick opinion than risk making a mistake. This keeps them small and keeps you trapped.
Before you leave, run a fire drill. List every possible issue that could arise. Write down who handles what. Make your team practice solving problems without you. My operations manager takes pride in protecting my vacation time. She sees it as proof she’s doing her job well. Create incentives for your team to handle things themselves. Make self-sufficiency their badge of honor.
Remember what matters
Author and entrepreneur Jim Sheils wrote about having just 18 summers with your kids before they leave for college. Eighteen. That’s it. While you’re answering emails on the beach, your seven-year-old is becoming eight. You can’t buy that time back. No amount of business success will erase the guilt of missing these moments.
Write down your number. How many summers left? Post it where you’ll see it on vacation. When you reach for your phone, look at that number instead. Your future self will thank you. The deals aren’t so important. The emails can wait. Your kids can’t.
Fix the root problem
If you’re solving the same problems on repeat, you’re not running a business. You’re running in circles. Every vacation becomes a working vacation because you haven’t built systems that work without you. The goal isn’t to be needed. The goal is to be free.
Start documenting everything. Every process, every decision framework, every standard response. Use tools that clone your knowledge. Train your team to find answers in your systems, not your inbox. Each time someone asks you something, ask yourself: could this be solved without me? Then make it happen. Build the solution once so you never have to solve it again.
Make switching off your superpower
When I finally learned to disconnect, everything changed. My team got creative. They found solutions I never would have thought of. Clients started respecting my boundaries because I respected them first. My best ideas came during trips away, when my brain had space to wander.
Delete the email app from your phone. Give your laptop to someone else. Make it physically impossible to check in. The harder you make it to work, the easier it becomes to rest. You deserve a complete break. Not a half-hearted attempt at relaxation while staying tethered to work. Your family needs you.
Take back your vacation and your sanity
Stop wasting your 18 summers on other people’s priorities. Your team will figure it out. Your clients will survive. Your business will keep running. But those moments with your family disappear while you stare at your screen.
Set the autoresponder. Delete the apps. Trust your team. Watch what happens when you actually disconnect. The world won’t end. Your business won’t crumble. You’ll come back sharper, clearer, and ready to build something big.
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